Voltron: Defender of the Universe

So, I just got done reading all there is to read about 1-18-08 and I must say...JJ Abrams you sonofabitch, just tell us what it is already because many people are starting to lose interest :(

On to the actual post.

I'm not sure if Voltron qualifies as a Saturday morning cartoon because the first time I saw it was in the afternoon. Saturday afternoon. But during one of the reruns it was shown in the morning. Regardless, Voltron is still an animated staple of our childhood, and it was shown on Saturday mornings at one point in time anyway so whatever.

Voltron is actually a combination of a couple of unrelated cartoons from Japan, edited and dubbed for North American audiences. It involves a giant robot named Robert, which forms through the combination of a number of smaller units, fighting whatever monster the villain cooks up for the week. There are actually three different robots, stemming from three different Japanese series; two were shown on TV; and only one worth giving a damn about:

This one.

Before it became known as Voltron in the US, the original series in Japan was called Hyakujuu-oh GoLion, which roughly translates to "Hundred Beast King Five Lion". Of course such a title wouldn't really make sense in the US so they promptly changed it to "Voltron", which not only sounds cooler, but also provided a certain rap group an easier word to work with.

The Voltron robot is piloted by a team of five members, corresponding to the five separate parts that make up the robot. Each separate unit, in the shape of a lion, forms a distinct part of the robot: the feet and legs, the arms, or the torso (or "body" every now and then). Upon combination, they form the awesomest thing ever. Smaller robots (or vehicles) combining to form a larger robot was a common theme in Japan during that time, and there are plenty of shows with the same setup, animated and live-action alike. Voltron was just another one of them, and could have been easily forgotten, if it wasn't picked up for an American release.

In place of an opening song/video, each episode begun with a narration by Optimus Prime:

From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend. The legend of Voltron: Defender of the Universe. A mighty robot, loved by good, feared by evil. As Voltron's legend grew, peace settled across the galaxy. On Planet Earth, a Galaxy Alliance was formed. Together with the good planets of the Solar System, they maintained peace throughout the universe until a new horrible menace threatened the galaxy. Voltron was needed once more. This is the story of the superforce of space explorers. Specially trained and sent by the alliance to bring back, Voltron: Defender of the Universe.

The "horrible menace" consisted of King Zarkon, Lotor, and a witch named Haggar, who literally made up monsters to attack the planet Arus (which Voltron defends). This made for a nice "monster-of-the-day" format for the episodes. The Voltron team would first attempt to fight the monster as individual lions. But when the monster proves to be too strong, the lions combine together in a stock animation sequence of them connecting to each other, coupled with the following cheesy dialogue:

Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected! Infracells up! Mega thrusters are go! LET'S GO VOLTRON FORCE! Form feet and legs! Form arms and torso! And, I'll form the head!

The team would then proceed to teach the monster not to fuck with Voltron, usually through "forming blazing sword" and cutting him up with it.

After a number of episodes, the story suddenly changed--nothing changed in the plot according to Optimus Prime's narration, but--what the fuck, where is Voltron? And what's with the cars and planes and shit? I watched ahead, thinking it was only a temporary replacement or a backup robot or something, but the lion Voltron never reappeared.

This is what I meant when I said "a couple of unrelated cartoons from Japan": it was indeed a different show, no longer Hyakujuu-oh GoLion, but Armored Fleet Dairugger XV, which involved a team of explorers. In the Voltron storyline, they were supposed to explore the universe for new places because the planets under the Galaxy Alliance have become overpopulated. I tried watching it, and when they formed the giant robot, it looked really ugly. Well actually it looked okay, it's just the feet that bothered me:

The universe ain't no roller rink, buddy.

Attention span being short as it was when I was a child (not like it's any longer now anyway), I stopped watching the show. I was completely alienated by this new, rollerskating robot hero. (Spoilers: I watched it anyway during one of the reruns).

Perhaps this explains why the third Voltron never saw the light of day: no one was interested in a Voltron that wasn't formed by 5 lions. The third one looked even worse; I heard it didn't take off even in Japan. It got cancelled along with the entire Voltron show, because nothing can replace the original one.

There have been attempts to revive the original Voltron in newer shows, in glorious three-dimensional CG (the show was appropriately subtitled "The Third Dimension"). I was not interested in it because Beast Wars left a bad taste in my mouth, but I heard it wasn't received well either.

Voltron is undoubtedly one of my favorite cartoon shows even up to now, decades after the first TV run. So when I heard there was going to be a movie based on the show, I almost came. I just hope they do it properly somehow; I wasn't exactly satisfied by the new Transformers movie, and I wouldn't want it to look like Power Rangers. One thing that worries me is that, in the series, "forming blazing sword" almost always looks like a last-resort type of thing. Realistically, however, this attack seems to be the quickest path to victory, and any rational being would try to end the battle as quickly as possible. However, if Voltron "forms blazing sword" too early, then there would be no show to watch. If the movie is going to go for a realistic look then this might be a problem...I wonder how they are going to address this.

I just really, really hope they don't mess it up...and more robot action, please. Learn from the (mistakes of the) Transformers movie, whoever's directing the Voltron movie.

By the way, if you didn't notice that I called Voltron "Robert" earlier, then you have ADD and your mom stinks of raw fish. : (